Never Graduate

Drinking Out of Cups Transcript

nevergraduate — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 01:44:46 +0000

Drinking out of cups. A simple formula that has created an internet phenomenon. Simply get your friend tripping on acid, lock him in a closet, and record whatever the hell he says.

It’s even better with a transcript:

“What does this guy think, he’s an Indian? What is he a goddamn asshole, what the fuck is he doing? Not ever. No way. Now he’s Johnny Hammersticks. Hammerin’ away like he’s friggin’ Tommy Noble. What the hell is he doing? Thinks he’s, thinks he’s got it going bossanova, no way. No way. What is this garbage? What is this? Oh, I’m king of the trees. I’m the tree meister. I count on them. Well sometimes I pry I like to steal-st. Yeah right. Yeah right. This guy’s a faggot. This guy’s some sort of faggot Indian in the teepee. This guy thinks he captain knots. Thinks he’s captain tying knots. When everyone needs some knots tied they go to him. Bullshit. Bullshit they-ss. Bull-his woman’s such a bitch. Thinks she’s miss sand. Drinkin’ out of cups. Bein’ a bitch. I bet her fist. I bet her fetalusque…Barggd. Patarskapalalala a little kid in the background fuckin’ goin craz-ay. Who’s this guy? Mister Balloons. Mr. Balloon hands. No way. No way. Get real. Like those things. Mister Walkway. Mister walk down me I’m the walkway. Lead me to the building. Fuck you. 5, 6, 4, 3. Yeah right. He’s some stupid bitch. Who paid for that floor? Not me. No way. Never paying for no floor ever again. Not once. Not never. Nope. Whose chair is that? Who brought that goddamn chair here? That’s not my chair. Not my chair not my problem. That’s what I say. No way. Stupid dresses. Stupid flowers. Lighthouses rule. If you don’t like the lighthouse, you suck. What is this Seahorse Captain? What a s-seahorse seashell party? Who didn’t invite me? Why didn’t I get invited seahorse sea hell. What is this? Get real. I’m in love with the seahorses. I’m in love with them they’re so beautiful and cute. I’m in love with the seahorses. They’re fuckin’ unreal I love ‘em. They’re like all the clocks I love em. I love seahorses, and I love lookin’ at them, and I love seashells. I love seashell things. I love things with seashells and seahorses on them like blankets and towels and little bags. I love ‘em. Seahorses forever.”

It was a good party: The People’s Party Blog

nevergraduate — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 02:31:56 +0000

For when your partying experience is so above average that you have to share it with the world.

http://www.itwasagoodparty.com

Futurama to Return

nevergraduate — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 01:42:58 +0000

What’s this? One of Fox’s great shows is actually going to come back to TV? They couldn’t have picked a better one. Futurama is coming back in 2010, with 26 new episodes on Comedy Central. Hear the good news.

Greatest Website Ever?

nevergraduate — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 00:26:05 +0000

Self-explanatory: http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/. Fake tans, beaters, roids, it’s all there… and hot girls too. Laugh, cry, fap(?). Winning formula.

Hot Chicks with Douchebags: Nice, bro.

They even have a book Greatest Website Ever?. Nice.

It’s Better to Drink Beer After Exercise Than Water

nevergraduate — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 17:02:19 +0000

It’s science.

http://www.clevelandleader.com/node/3467

Add some whey and you’ve got the best, frattiest recovery drink ever.

If The Other Side Wins

nevergraduate — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 19:41:43 +0000

A little election humor

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1888086

How Not to Pass a Sobriety Test

nevergraduate — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 07:29:41 +0000

Don’t drink and drive, kids.

Even better.

Always Keep Your Fridge Stocked

nevergraduate — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 03:14:19 +0000

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1833212

Git Money + Git Paid